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tv   Late Night With Jimmy Fallon  NBC  June 13, 2012 12:35am-1:35am EDT

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♪ i know that it's a secret and that i gotta keep it but i want the lights on yeah i want the lights on ♪ ♪ and i don't want to run away anymore leave the lights on leave the lights on ♪ ♪ leave the lights on ♪ ♪ ♪ let it out let it out let it out ♪ ♪ let it out let it out let it out ♪ ♪ i know that it's a secret and that i gotta keep it but i want the lights on yeah i want the lights on ♪ ♪ and i don't want to run away anymore
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leave the lights on leave the lights on ♪ ♪ i know that it's a secret and that i gotta keep it but i want the lights on yeah i want the lights on ♪ ♪ and i don't want to run away anymore leave the lights on leave the lights on ♪ ♪ leave the lights on ♪ ohh ohh oh oh ohh ohh oh oh ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: meiko. nice job, beautiful song. thank you so much. that was great. i want to thank my guests, patrick duffy, linda gray, larry hagman, meghan mccain and of course meiko.
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tomorrow night, terry bradshaw and the turtleman. but "jimmy fallon" happening right now. jimmy, take it! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you very much. i appreciate that, everybody. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." it's going to be fun tonight. want to say congratulations to the los angeles kings. last night, they won their first stanley cup in the team's 45-year history. wow. [ cheers and applause ] that's big. fans in l.a. couldn't believe it. they were like, "we have a hockey team?" [ laughter ] speaking of sports, in a new interview, president obama says he hopes, too, that the nba finals go to a game seven. of course, obama should probably be focused on other matters, like hoping his presidency goes to a term two. i mean, that's what i would be doing. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] priorities. here's some more political news. one week after wisconsin's recall election, today, governor scott walker hosted a bratwurst party for republicans and democrats. [ light laughter ]
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i didn't go 'cause i heard it was a total sausage fest. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: are you kidding? could've been worse. >> jimmy: and i didn't get invited. [ laughter ] hey, did you guys hear about this? a few days ago, mitt romney visited a restaurant in iowa, and had trouble thinking of the word for donut. [ laughter ] it's a true story. couldn't think of the word. newt gingrich merely responded, "that never would have happened if i was the nominee, you guys." [ laughter and applause ] "donut's on the tip of my tongue! always. i start all my sentences with donut." check this out. a republican in hawaii has become the first senate candidate to launch a cable channel for her campaign. that's right. a cable network aimed at getting a republican elected, or, as fox news put it, "uh, hello?" [ laughter and applause ] "anyone paying attention?" oh, here you go, guys. this sunday is father's day, you guys. yeah.
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[ cheers and applause ] which gives you just five days to buy your dad a fishing magazine and a beer koozie a the gas station on the way to his house, so -- you have five days for that. all right, guys, i read about a teenager in canada who made her graduation dress out of her old math homework. [ light laughter ] of course, it got awkward when that one creepy kid was like, "nice dress. are those bs or cs?" [ laughter ] hey, watch it, buddy. [ applause ] creep. this is a weird story. police in georgia are looking for people who stole 400,000 toothpicks from a warehouse. [ light laughter ] fortunately, one of the suspects has a clear alibi -- a tiny piece of spinach right here. [ laughter ] guys, it's comedy like that that's going to get us through the evening, so -- [ laughter ] >> steve: hold on to your hats! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hold on.
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>> steve: it's gonna be a bumpy ride. >> jimmy: hey guys, i saw that snooki's ex-boyfriend, emilio -- you know that guy? >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: he's denying reports that he leaked nude pictures of her last week. yeah. which narrows it down to pretty much any other guy, but it's not emilio. [ laughter ] and finally, j.crew announced that it's getting ready to open its first store in asia, which explains why the tags on the clothes say, "made by you." [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: guys, good news! our brand new comedy album, "blow your pants off," came out today! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ this is it!
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it's basically a greatest hits album of all of the awesome comedy songs that we've done on the show. came out today. i'm so excited. i've been up since 4:00 in the morning tweeting. [ light laughter ] there's a ton of insane guest stars on this cd. bruce springsteen is on here. [ cheers and applause ] justin timberlake doing "history of rap." [ cheers and applause ] eddie vedder, big & rich, dave matthews, stephen colbert, paul mccartney. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: sir paul mccartney. we got to thank all those guys. this is like the carlos santana "supernatural of comedy" album. [ laughter ] that's what everyone's calling it. >> steve: is that what they're calling it? >> jimmy: everybody is. >> steve: i did not know that. >> jimmy: all the tracks are remixed and re-mastered. it sounds amazing. take a listen to this. just play like -- what are we gonna give? give -- what number? i'll do -- nine. let's do number nine, "walk of shame" with dave matthews. ♪ walk of shame dave matthews. >> steve: the dave matthews. >> jimmy: it's about taking a walk of shame in college. that's enough of that one.
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that's a good one. [ light laughter ] you can do -- why don't you do number eight? this is if bob dylan sang "charles in charge." ♪ charles in charge [ laughter ] all right, that's enough. that's enough. that's enough. i can't give it all away. >> steve: yeah, you don't want all of it. >> jimmy: no. >> steve: 'cause some kid won't -- >> jimmy: right. people come up -- people come up and they go, "what would it sound like if the doors sang 'reading rainbow?'" number five. ♪ butterfly in the sky that's it. that's all i can give you. that's all i can give you. can't give you all of it. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: you just want to wet your beak with it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: wet a beak. that's all. >> jimmy: yeah. just want to wet your beak on it. that's a little bit. just want to wet your beak. [ light laughter ] right now, we're number 19 album on itunes. >> steve: whoa. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're ahead of the group, one direction, by two. >> steve: whoa. [ cheers and applause ] and that's not comedy. that's all albums. >> jimmy: oh, it's all albums, yeah. no, one direction is -- >> steve: well, you never know. >> jimmy: no, you don't, no. >> steve: those kids are funny. >> jimmy: they are funny kids, but no, no. this is on the regular album
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charts, not even -- on the itunes. >> steve: right. >> jimmy: but i can't help but notice another music superstar released an album today. that's right. usher had the audacity -- [ audience boos ] don't walk out. he's not gonna come here tonight. [ laughter ] he's just -- >> steve: usher? >> jimmy: usher, yeah. >> steve: i would tell him to take a seat. [ laughter ] you know what i mean? [ rim shot ] >> jimmy: usher had the audacity to drop his album the same day as "blow your pants off." now, everybody's wondering, "which album do i buy? do i buy usher, the -- singer?" >> steve: exactly. >> jimmy: the great performer. >> steve: the great performer. >> jimmy: or jimmy fallon? >> steve: right. >> jimmy: yeah. it's the question on everyone's mind. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: that is a dilemma. how dare he. >> jimmy: i think it's pretty clear. just take a look at this. ♪ >> usher. fallon. [ cheers and applause ] usher. fallon. [ cheers and applause ] usher. fallon.
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on june 12th, which side will you choose? heads or tails? [ cheers and applause ] "blow your pants off." available in stores now. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's obvious, right? so, head on to itunes, amazon, walmart, wherever you get your music, and "blow your pants off," you guys! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ we have a fantastic show for you tonight. the talented, the great maggie gyllenhaal is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] this guy is the best. the host of bravo's "watch what happens live" -- he's got a new book out called "most talkative." our pal andy cohen is stopping by! [ cheers and applause ] he's always a blast. plus, video game week continues with the first hands-on look at halo 4, you guys. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> steve: oh, my god. he was playing halo. >> jimmy: what was that? >> steve: you were playing halo. >> jimmy: i was playing halo, yes. and we got some great music, you guys. alejandro escovedo! [ cheers and applause ] it's good times. he's awesome. it's going to be a fun show. you guys, it's time to take a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good and the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." here we go. ♪ pros cons pros cons and pros ♪ >> jimmy: tonight, we will be taking a look at the pros and cons of the nba finals. game one kicked off tonight between miami heat and oklahoma city thunder. yeah. so, a lot of people are looking forward to this matchup. so, let's look at the pros and cons of the nba finals. here we go. pros, the heat versus the thunder is a dream matchup. con, for the weather channel. [ laughter ]
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that makes sense, right? >> steve: yeah. it does. i mean -- >> jimmy: that makes sense, the heat versus the thunder. >> steve: yeah, meteorologists everywhere -- >> jimmy: al roker should be all over this. >> steve: yeah, he's all over it. like white on rice. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: pro, okc stands for oklahoma city. con, mia stands for lebron james in the fourth quarter. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: what? >> jimmy: that's not fair. that night. >> steve: yeah, he's a nice fella. >> jimmy: yeah, i think it stands for miami. >> steve: m-i-a-m-i. >> jimmy: yeah. pro, this is what nba players dream about their whole lives. con, besides marrying a kardashian. [ laughter ] but either one. you got to have goals. [ applause ] one of the two. basically all taken now. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: pro, driving the lane and crashing the glass. con, or as lindsay lohan calls that, going to work. [ laughter and applause ] she is fine. she's okay. >> steve: that's joking. >> jimmy: she's okay. it's the other dude's fault. >> steve: yeah. please. >> jimmy: pro, oklahoma city fans will scream their heads off. con, miami fans will eat your face off. [ audience ohs ]
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[ laughter and applause ] stay away from the bath salts, you guys. dangerous stuff. >> steve: awful, awful stuff. >> jimmy: awful. pro, lebron's reputation precedes him. con, lebron's hairline recedes him. so that's -- >> steve: wait, what? who -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: who wrote that? >> steve: somebody put that on paper? >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: oh, my god. >> jimmy: and finally, pro, as a tribute to james harden, they put a giant beard on a building in oklahoma city. look at this. [ laughter ] con, as a tribute to donald trump, they did the same thing in new york. there you go right there. that's the "pros and cons," you guys. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with more "late night." come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ pros cons pros cons and pros ♪ another cup of coffee? how long is this one going to last? forty-five minutes? an hour? well... listen. 5-hour energy lasts a whole lot of hours. take one in the afternoon,
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♪ born on the bayou [ female announcer ] the perfect song for everywhere can be downloaded almost anywhere. ♪ i'm back, back in the new york groove ♪ [ male announcer ] the nation's largest 4g network. covering 2,000 more 4g cities and towns than verizon. rethink possible. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back!
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guys, thank you for being here. thank you for watching our show. guys on the count of three, what's the one thing we all have in common? one, two, three -- [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: that's right, brains. every one of us has one, and now it's time to play a game where we put your brains to the test. it's time for "tell us what you know." here we go. ♪ tell me what you know ♪ >> jimmy: let's meet tonight's contestants. come on over, you guys. ♪ welcome to "tell us what you know," the game where audience members get to share their knowledge on a given subject. if you forgot the rules, here they are. first, i'm going to give you a topic. next, you're going to have ten seconds to say everything you know about the given topic. it could be words, ideas, thoughts. the more you say, the more points you will earn. once your time is up, the brain master will give you points
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based on your response. the brain master knows all there is to know about everything in the universe. [ laughter ] he has also never kissed a girl. and brain master, is it true that you frequent karaoke clubs alone on the weekend? [ laughter ] in the end, you guys, the contestant with the most points wins. you guys ready to play? >> yeah. >> jimmy: now, before we begin, let me give you a taste of the brain master's wealth of knowledge. brain master, ignoring air resistance, what is the rate of acceleration for an object falling freely near the earth's surface? >> 9.8 meters per second squared. >> jimmy: correct. [ cheers and applause ] what is tom hanks' middle name? >> jeffrey. >> jimmy: that is correct. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: what is the greatest movie of all time? >> "air bud 2: golden receiver." >> jimmy: that is correct. all right, contestants number two and three, please go over there and wait. ♪ contestant number one -- there you go, buddy. what is your name and where are you from? >> john lung, and i'm from winnipeg, canada. >> jimmy: all right, johnny. welcome. good luck, man. [ cheers ] winnipeg. what topic would you like to talk about? >> farm animals. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it doesn't matter, because i'll decide your topic. remember, the more you say, the more points you'll earn. >> all right. >> jimmy: farm animals. >> farm animals, yeah. >> jimmy: are you ready? >> yep. >> jimmy: your topic is cows. go. >> utters, milk, cheese, dairy products, farm animals, bulls, spots, horns, cow bells, farmers, milk silos -- [ buzzer ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: milk silos? >> yes. >> jimmy: fantastic. brain master, how many points did he earn?
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548. [ cheers and applause ] that's pretty deep. congratulations, buddy. go stand way over there. come on over, contestant two. hey, how are you? >> good. >> jimmy: nice to see you. what is your name and where are you from? >> allie, and i'm from san diego. >> jimmy: hey, allie. welcome. hey, san diego. [ applause ] all right. you saw how contestant one did. do you think you can say that much about cows? >> we'll try. >> jimmy: well, it doesn't matter, because we're getting a new topic. [ car beeping ] you know what that sound means? you get to take two, which means you get two topics to share your knowledge on for the opportunity to earn double points. are you ready? >> yes. >> jimmy: okay, the topics are bricks and love. go. >> they're both red, like hearts. >> jimmy: they don't have to relate. they don't have to relate. they don't have to relate. just go. >> red, hard, loving, hugs, kisses. >> jimmy: they don't have to relate. [ buzzer ] is that red hard? [ laughter and applause ]
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♪ >> jimmy: that's very, very good. you did good there. how do you think you did? >> i have to ask the brain master. >> jimmy: yeah, you really do. brain master, how many points did she earn? 549. that is coincidentally one point higher than contestant number one. and it's carved in wood, too. just out of curiosity, brain master, is it really true that you have never kissed a girl? not even an accidental graze, or maybe you were going in for a hug and your lips touched? nothing? and you're in your late 20s, right? >> early 30s. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: anyway, please go stand over there. thank you so much for playing. contestant number three, come on over here, buddy. ♪ all right, buddy. nice to see you, man. >> nice to meet you. >> jimmy: what does your shirt say there? >> l.r.g. >> jimmy: l.r.g. yeah, cool, man. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, how about it? what is your name, and where are you from? >> tim harthong, i'm from
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abington, pennsylvania. [ sneeze ] >> jimmy: woah, that means you just earned the egg of wisdom. how are you doing, buddy? >> yes, thank you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now it's time for your topic, but first, in order to maximize your mental capacities, please take a very, very large bite of this egg. all right, your topic is the beach. go. >> blankets -- [ laughter ] waves, boogie boards. >> jimmy: waves? >> boogie boards -- [ buzzer ] surfboards. >> jimmy: okay. i don't know what he was saying. hard to understand what you were saying. brain master, what did he earn? 20. yeah, that's right. sounds good to me. sorry. let's bring back contestants number one and two. let's see who won. ♪ it looks like contestant number two is the winner with
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549 points. ♪ which means that you are going home with a "tell us what you know" grand mystery prize. oh, the grand mystery prize is chosen by the brain master himself, and potentially holds the answer to all of life's questions. but, don't worry. no one goes home empty handed. the two loser will be going home with their own containers of turtle wax. turtle wax, the smarter way to shine. [ applause ] hey, go ahead and open your grand mystery prize and see what you won. there you go. ♪ that's all the time we have for "tell us what you know." stick around. we'll be right back with maggie gyllenhaal. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i'd like to tell you about netflix.
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[ cheers and applause ] our first guest is an oscar and golden globe nominated actress who has starred in such movies as "the dark knight" and "crazy heart." she's got a new movie out called "hysteria." please welcome the lovely, the talented, maggie gyllenhaal. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: maggie, you look gorgeous. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you for coming back to the show. you got some pretty cool news. you just had a little baby? >> yes, seven weeks ago. >> jimmy: is that right? congratulations. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] oh my god, a seven week old little baby. >> a tiny baby, i'm barely here. >> jimmy: make sure it's somewhere else right now, yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it would be tough to leave a little baby. and it's a baby girl, right? >> this is kind of the first time i've really left her, actually. >> jimmy: is that right? oh, no. i'm sorry. all right. we'll get you back home quick. i swear. yeah, yeah.
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>> yes, she's a little baby girl. >> jimmy: we won't take you out drinking after the show. we won't party. how is the baby doing? she's a little girl, right? >> yes. >> jimmy: and her name is -- >> her name is gloria. >> jimmy: gloria. beautiful name. that's my mom's name and my sister's name. >> i heard that. >> jimmy: i love that. is that who you named it after? >> your mom and sister? >> jimmy: i don't know. you've got to ask, right? >> actually we thought of her name when we were at this concert that patti smith played at, and she played "gloria," and -- >> jimmy: she does one of the best versions of "gloria." >> yeah. >> jimmy: patti smith does. >> and it was a couple of years ago, and we just thought maybe we'll name our daughter that one day. >> jimmy: so you had it in the back of your mind. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: because you don't want to tell people, "hey, i'm thinking if we do have another kid --" >> no. >> jimmy: because then someone will take it. >> yes and then it gets out there in the world. >> jimmy: right. so then you have to start making things up. you're, like, i want to call the baby rumpelstiltskin. >> yeah. [ laughter ] if you think that would catch on. >> jimmy: yeah. i don't know if that would catch on, but it's a hard name to say. but it's a good scrabble word. is it? >> it wouldn't count in scrabble. >> jimmy: it wouldn't count. no, it wouldn't. >> it's a proper noun. >> jimmy: no proper nouns. you are correct. but, house rules. so, they do count. and, also, you end up having 25 letters.
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in my scrabble game. but no, "gloria," also, you got to check out the doors' version of "gloria." >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's a great version. >> my husband played me the doors version or a live doors version of "gloria" two days after my daughter was born, and it was so dirty -- >> jimmy: what? >> -- i couldn't handle it with like a two-day-old. >> jimmy: what do you mean, dirty? >> it was a super, super dirty version. >> jimmy: what? >> you should youtube it. >> jimmy: what. i can't -- it will get fired from nbc if i youtube that. >> could you youtube it now? >> jimmy: i could youtube it now. but, no. no. it's dirty? it's filthy? >> super, super dirty. >> are you sure it's jim morrison? it's not, like, jim mortensen? >> i'm sure it's jim morrison. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: jim morrison was -- really? maybe? i don't know. yeah, i guess that does -- van morrison has a good version. >> van morrison has an awesome version. >> jimmy: yeah. >> which is the one that patti smith is covering. >> jimmy: yeah, that's right. >> but she does it totally her own. you should all listen to that one. >> jimmy: yeah. really. patti is a great one, too. [ cheers and applause ] what is the movie? can you set it up? >> the movie is -- it's about the invention of the vibrator in victorian england,
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which is actually where the vibrator was invented. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: you don't have to tell me that twice. duh. we should youtube that, maybe, while we're at it with the jim morrison thing. >> doctors used to make women [ bleep ] with vibrators. >> jimmy: whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. >> to cure them of -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. that's right. to cure them of what? >> of hysteria. >> jimmy: of hysteria. >> of hysteria. and supposedly -- >> jimmy: that's some doctor. yeah, yeah. really, doctor, all i have is a cough but -- looks like i'll be back tomorrow. yeah, to get something else checked out. great doctor. >> yeah, exactly. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> i feel like the women were on to it, but supposedly the men thought that it had nothing to do with sex. so -- >> jimmy: oh, really? >> but, it seemed like it
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worked. >> jimmy: we have to show a clip of this movie. >> i feel like -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i think -- i think i -- it sounds good, right? >> jimmy: yeah, originally this was titled "51 shades of grey," but they changed it to "hysteria." here is maggie gyllenhaal and hugh dancy in "hysteria." >> i can assure you that women enjoy physical pleasure just as much as men. even if it can be hard to come by. >> physical pleasure has nothing to do with it. it's strictly a medical treatment that stimulates the nervous system. >> it's a bargain. it's unique. but my point is, according to your diagnosis theory, it seems to covers everything from insomnia to toothache. >> it's not -- >> it's nothing more that a catch all for dissatisfied women. women forced to spend their life on domestic chores and their prudish and selfish husbands who are unwilling or unable to make love to them properly or often enough. >> you seem to have strong opinions on husbands for a woman who doesn't have one.
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>> look, if you don't believe me, ask your patients. >> jimmy: there you go. [ cheers and applause ] "hysteria," guys. this is in select cities and vibravision now and nationwide this month. give it up for maggie gyllenhaal, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] andy cohen joins us next. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ nice, mio energy?
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. our next guest this evening is a smart and talented television producer and personality who hosts "watch what happens live" sundays through thursdays at 11:00pm on bravo. he also has a new book out. his life story, fittingly titled "most talkative." please welcome back to our show, our pal, andy cohen, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. >> money can't buy you class. >> jimmy: money can't buy you class. >> that's the lesson. >> jimmy: by the countess. >> by the countess luann de lesseps. >> jimmy: luann. god, she's gorgeous. by the way, i met her in real
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life. she's very pretty. >> yeah. >> jimmy: she's very attractive, the countess. yeah, and i'm watching the new season of "real housewives." >> it's going good. cleaned house a little bit. >> jimmy: yeah, you did. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, where's my jill zarin? >> she's no longer on the "housewives." yes. >> jimmy: no, bethenny frankel moved on. >> she did. >> jimmy: she's got a spin-off. >> yes. >> jimmy: and you've got aviva. >> aviva, yes. bethenny found aviva, actually. >> jimmy: what? yeah, she called me one day. we were looking for housewives -- she goes -- >> jimmy: "i have a lunatic that you should film for a week." >> no, she said there is a woman who -- as it turns out -- her ex had relations with two of the current housewives. she's beautiful. she only has one leg. and she's amazing, and i think you should meet her. and i said she sounds interesting to me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what else can you say there? yeah. >> that is fascinating. >> jimmy: it's good. it's good. it's a good season already. "most talkative." congratulations on this, buddy. this is awesome. a really fun read. you guys, have to check this book out. it's just a story about you coming up from st. louis -- >> yes. >> jimmy: -- to where you are now. >> that's right. >> jimmy: congratulations.
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and, also, there's a lot of great photos of you. >> crazy. >> jimmy: no, what are you talking about? that's not crazy. >> absolutlely. i did that to make my college roommates laugh. i used to brush out the fro. absolutely. what else you got? >> jimmy: well, here's one with you and a giant computer and a hawaiian shirt. >> that was called a computer. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> that's an overly paisley shirt. i was a desk assistant at cbs news at the time. >> jimmy: now, you ended up going to cbs news. you started though, you say that susan lucci started your whole career. >> yes, she did. i -- >> jimmy: erica kane herself. >> erica kane herself. i wrote her a letter. i was studying journalism in college at boston university. and i wrote her a letter. i really wanted to interview her. and i said, look, i want to interview you for the cover of the bu newspaper. as it turns out i never made contact with anyone at the bu newspaper. i just wanted to interview susan lucci. and, so, her people said yes. i wrote this impassioned letter. >> jimmy: so you just lied your way through this? >> kind of. yeah.
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i mean it was fib. >> jimmy: it was a fib, yeah. >> it was for a news writing and reporting class, actually. but i went -- i flew to new york, and out she came from the double doors of the "all my children" studios, and her hair was this high. >> jimmy: there was, like, a smoke machine behind her. >> right. it was full of '80s manipulation. it was amazing. and she said, "i hope you like mexican food, andrew, 'cause i'm taking you to lunch. >> jimmy: whoa! >> and she did. and i hated mexican food, but i went anyway. >> jimmy: you're, like, it's erica kane. i have to do this. >> yes, absolutely. >> jimmy: and have you seen her since? >> yes, amazingly. the book opens with me kind of at this interview with her that will change my life. and i have this whole thing on audio tape and it's hilarious. 'cause i don't let her get a word in edgewise. and i'm like, "well, my mom and i think -- my mom and i think --" it's so embarrassing. >> jimmy: my mom and i think -- >> it's terrible. and so -- i was in the closet at the time, so that's funny, too. oh, my god. you're what? anyway, so the book ends with all these experiences i had with
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her later where i prank called her once in a hotel, just these terribly embarrassing things. but she was on my show. everything about my book, it's so full circle. i wound up getting this talk show. i wound up meeting every idol i had, and just incredible stories. and she was on my show a few weeks ago with mark ruffalo, and it was an incredible day for me. >> jimmy: i mean, you have -- it's a great show. it's such a fun show to go on your show. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you do -- it's not just like "housewives" talk and stuff like that. you interview everybody. >> everybody. >> jimmy: you had a slumber party with ray fines. >> yes, ray fines and holly hunter. it was our first annual ray fines pajama party. [ laughter ] yes. it was really good. >> jimmy: he was wearing full-on pajamas. ray fines said, "i'll come on, but i want to wear pj's." and i was, like, "all right, we'll do that." and of course, you changed the face of my show, dude. >> jimmy: i can't believe that this thing took off. >> it did. >> jimmy: now a shot-ski. >> yes. >> jimmy: i came on your show, and i bought you -- i made this -- my wife made this, and what we do -- well, 'cause we know you. andy loves to have fun. you have drinks on your show. >> yes, a lot. >> jimmy: yes.
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[ laughter ] so i said let's think of something cool that he can do. and so we saw this wooden ski at a antique place. a set of wooden skis. and we glued shot glasses to the ski and created a thing called andy's shot- ski. >> i brought a clip. i brought a clip of, kind of, some of the best shot-ski moments so that you could see what a profound effect you've had on my wednesday nights on "watch what happens live." >> jimmy: wednesday nights on "watch what happens live" you do that. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. it's shot-ski night. >> okay, let's go get in shot-ski position. this is homemade by jimmy fallon and his wife nancy, okay? >> yeah. >> okay. [ laughter ] one, two, three -- [ cheers and applause ] it's good, right? [ cheers and applause ] that was good. [ cheers and applause ] go, go, go. [ cheers and applause ] have you ever done a shot on television? >> no, this is a historic first. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: dan rather and john mayer? >> dan rather and john mayer.
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we did bourbon shots. mr. rather -- >> jimmy: that is the best. >> it's the best. >> jimmy: well, i know it's not wednesday night, but do you mind? can we do a shot-ski? >> i brought the shot-ski, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ is this your -- is this your famous -- what you love? >> jimmy: yeah, i think it is. >> is this the jager and pineapple juice? >> jimmy: it's my favorite shot. who's going to -- higgins, you got to join us. >> all right. >> oh, my god. this is mental. >> jimmy: this is jager and pineapple. it's called a surfer on acid. >> oh, my god. >> jager and pineapple. sorry, i'm filling mine first, higgins. >> oh, look. mine is too high. okay. >> jimmy: no, this is fine. >> don't worry. trust me. there's enough for everybody. >> okay, that's good. jimmy's got a show to do still. >> jimmy: here we go. oh, my god. okay. andy cohen. his new book, you guys, "most talkative." you got to go pick this up. [ cheers and applause ] >> one, two, three. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: delicious! go pick up andy cohen's new
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book, you guys! [ cheers and applause ] "most talkative." it's the perfect summer read. up next, microsoft's josh holmes and i will be checking out halo 4. there he is in the bud light platinum suite. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] at p.f. chang's, we serve more than starters. we serve igniters. and now, so can you. introducing succulent dumplings and crispy spring rolls. ignite the night with p.f. chang's home menu appetizers. find them near our frozen meals.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. it is day two of video game week at "late night."
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and i'm here with josh holmes, creative director of microsoft 343 industries. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we're gonna look at halo 4. oh, my gosh. welcome, josh. this is one of the most anticipated games of the year. you won tons of awards at e3. >> absolutely. >> it's halo 4. a lot of presh. that's short for pressure. [ laughter ] lot of presh to put out another "halo," because how you gonna top yourself? >> well, this is -- halo 4 is all about the return of the master chief, so this is -- >> jimmy: master chief's back. >> he's back! >> jimmy: all right. >> he's got a bigger challenge than he's ever faced before. he's got a whole new world to explore, new threat to overcome. >> jimmy: i have to ask, do you see his face in the game? 'cause everyone's saying -- >> not this time. >> jimmy: you don't see his face. okay, good. all right, good. i was just making sure. there's a lot of rumors on the web that it could be my face, and i go, well, i just got to double check. [ laughter ] so i can get my lawyers ready for this. but let's take a look at halo 4. there's master chief right there. oh, yeah. >> all right. >> jimmy: all right. so we're walking around. we're in the -- >> yeah. so, okay -- >> jimmy: this is a giant world. >> this is in the campaign, and you can see that ship that's
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down over there. so, our mission, our objective is to go and try and rescue this downed ship. >> jimmy: okay. >> all right? and so, this is a super epic campaign, but, you know, in addition to that, we're doing something that is totally unprecedented with our multiplayer this time around. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> so that ship that you saw there is going to be the foundation of a new episodic experience that we have. and basically what we're doing is, we're introducing a whole new series that's going to be like a cg series where you got, like, a new episode that comes out every week. and along with that, you got five missions that you can play with your friends, with up to four friends. and there's an entire season of that content. >> jimmy: really? so wait. do you have pay extra for that stuff? >> no, it's totally free for any player to have -- >> jimmy: i would charge money for that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: sorry, you guys. that's why i don't -- wait, why are you murdering these people? what are they -- >> okay. >> jimmy: what is your problem? okay. >> these are -- these are the covenants. >> jimmy: yeah. right there. >> so, roll your -- familiar foe in halo. you know, that guy just got liquidated by something up here, so -- one of the things that we're doing in halo 4 is we're
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introducing a whole new enemy class, and that's a first for halo, you know, in the past decade of play. >> jimmy: yeah. what are these things called? >> these things are gonna be called the prometheans. and you're gonna get a look at one of those enemies here. now, this is a pretty basic enemy. these are called the crawlers. you can see they can kind of walk on walls. they can travel in packs. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, yeah. >> so, they're pretty easy to deal with when you're dealing with them in small numbers. they get a little bit more challenging when you've got large groups. they can become overwhelming, but what i'm going to do is, i'm gonna go ahead and let you be the first person outside of 343 who's actually had a chance to play the campaign of halo 4. we're gonna see how you do. >> jimmy: are you sure? [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm sure. you're up. you think you can do this? >> jimmy: all right, here we go. >> all right. just remember shoot -- pretty much anything that moves, you want to shoot it. >> jimmy: all right, yeah. >> shoot that guy. right there. there you go. nice job, nice job. >> jimmy: kill them!
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>> go get those guys. >> jimmy: what are they shooting at me? plasma? >> they're -- it's like a super heated plasma. okay, keep going. keep going. >> jimmy: shut up! [ laughter ] shut up! >> there's another one. >> jimmy: i can't really see. all right. >> okay, okay. forward. there you go. >> jimmy: can i run through them and not hit any of them? >> there you go. there you go. there you go. keep going. keep going! >> jimmy: all right! ahh! i just saw the face of death! >> yeah. >> jimmy: what do i do? [ talking over each other ] >> all right. >> jimmy: why did he just talk to me? >> so this is a promethean knight. and he is pretty much the big, you know, bad guy on the battlefield. whoa, okay. >> jimmy: what do i do?! >> try and kill him. go go go! >> jimmy: ahh! where is he? >> don't waste bullets. all right, all right. that guy there's a watcher. he's shielding him. so, you want to not shoot the shield. all right, yes. you switched weapons. get that dude. shoot that dude. shoot that dude. you got him. you got him. there you go. >> jimmy: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> nice job.
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nice job, my friend. nice job. well done. >> jimmy: i have a heart murmur. i have a heart murmur, josh. this is tough for me here. >> so, there's a new weapon there if you want to pick that up. turn around. turn around. yeah, yeah. okay, press back. press back. there -- oh, there you go. >> jimmy: whoa. >> so now, this a foreigner weapon. it's called the light rifle, all right? >> jimmy: it's a new thing. >> it's a new thing. that's right. so, go and shoot that dude with it. all right? go. don't let him get away! >> jimmy: wait. >> there you go. >> jimmy: don't yell at me, josh! [ laughter ] >> you're doing fine. you're doing fine. >> jimmy: oh, what i do? i went into heat-seeking mode. >> all right. there you go. there you go. okay, you want to kill those dudes. okay, so the watcher is now -- more crawlers. you want to shoot that guy. [ gun shots ] very nice. >> jimmy: yes! >> very, very nice. well done. ♪ >> jimmy: you are a good man, brother. i am honored to play. that was awesome. oh, you were? i got to work harder. i got to work harder. our thanks to josh. halo 4 is gonna be in stores november 6th only on xbox! alejandro escovedo performs next.
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come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ good morning! wow.
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want to start the day with something heart healthy and delicious? you're a talking bee... honey t cheerios has whole grain oats that can help lower cholesterol. and it tastes good? sure does! right... ♪ wow. delicious, right? yeah. it's the honey, it makes it taste so... ♪ well, would you look at the time... what's the rush? be happy. be healthy.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest just released his 11th album called "big station." he's here tonight to play his opening track, "man of the world." please welcome alejandro escovedo. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ ♪ i buried my heart i was born again lived seventeen nights in one night of sin ♪ ♪ oh yeah oh yeah ♪ ♪ i'm a man of the world it ain't no thing i can take a punch i can take a swing ♪ ♪ oh yeah oh yeah ♪ ♪ you know i'm frustrated ooh hot, overrated i feel life dissipating ♪ ♪ oh yeah oh yeah ♪ ♪ ♪ oh yeah oh yeah ♪
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♪ i've been parted out tool and dyed duct taped together for one last ride ♪ ♪ oh yeah oh yeah ♪ ♪ i wanna hold you but you're on the run i'd love to chase you but i'm not that dumb, no ♪ ♪ oh yeah oh yeah ♪ ♪ you know i'm frustrated ooh hot, overrated i feel life dissipating ♪ ♪ oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah ♪
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♪ ain't jumping ahead not falling behind not waiting on nobody i don't need a sign ♪ ♪ oh yeah oh yeah ♪ ♪ got a twitch in my eye a bump in my step i'd get up from the table but i'm not done yet, no ♪ ♪ oh yeah oh yeah ♪ ♪ you know i'm frustrated ooh hot, overrated i feel life dissipating ♪ ♪ oh yeah oh yeah you know i'm frustrated ooh ♪ ♪ hot overrated i feel life dissipatg oh yeah oh yeah ♪ ♪

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